


Quiet

by ileos



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Drama, Romance, Teens in love, and boyfriends, dream meaning, they are in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 08:50:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14077263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ileos/pseuds/ileos
Summary: Sleeping in one bed for the first time ever seemed like a nice idea at first. What Goshiki didn't expect was the nightmare that haunted his boyfriend that night.





	Quiet

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little something I wrote yesterday in one setting for my beautiful fiancé. She was craving this pairing so much (just like me) and there is so little content of them that I decided that I write something myself! So I hope you guys enjoy! This ship needs so much more love, seriously.

It happened once only up to that point, where Goshiki found himself. He was not sure how many times it had happened before, but he honestly didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to ask. This was something entirely different from everything that he had seen so far, from everything he imagined Shiratorizawa’s ace, _his_ ace to be. And it changed his view on Ushijima entirely.

 

Ever since Goshiki found himself not only imitating Ushijima’s every move but also longing for their Ace to be so much closer to him, he put Wakatoshi on an even higher podest than ever before. Not only was he strong, stronger than anyone he had ever seen, faster and more capable, no, he was also much more handsome, beautiful and by far more interesting to Goshiki than he had ever been before. And this was just the start of all this seemingly one-sided pining. 

 

As it turned out to be, all of their pining hadn’t been so one-sided after all. After a while, maybe a month after Goshiki started to try to get Ushijima’s attention even more, the power ace actually seemed to return all of that. In that awkward and kind of idiotic but loveable manner, that only his team got to know. It started out with more praise, soft - or not so soft, since Ushijima sometimes didn’t know where to put his strenght - pats on Goshiki’s back and got over to the point where Tsutomu finally pulled all of his courage together to ask his idol, the one he had been admiring from afar and up close for a while, out for a date.

 

He had said yes.

 

And after a few dates which were calming and relaxing and romantic in small ways, they finally kissed. Goshiki being too shy to go after his straight-forward nature, asking even more shy if it was okay if he kissed his captain. And again, Wakatoshi said yes.

 

This was, how their relationship had started. This was how they got to this point and this place. Both of them in Ushijima’s (and Reon’s - but he was visiting his family) dorm room. Both of them laying in Ushijima’s bed, close enough to feel each other’s heartbeats and comfortable enough for each other to be quiet.

 

This was something that Tsutomu learned to value in their - rather short - time of being together. That he didn’t find the silence uncomfortable, like he usually did. No, but that it had something in it, that caused him to relax. That caused all those engines that kept him going, to slow down for once. To let him rest and breathe through.

 

Usually, they wouldn’t sleep in the same room for obvious reasons. One of them being the dorm-rules and the other being that they both had roommates on their own who they shared a room with. So this, after convincing and begging his boyfriend multiple times until Wakatoshi finally said yes, was an exception. Which made Goshiki, maybe stupidly so, even more happy than necessary.

  
  


_ “Come on! Let’s break the rules for once!” _ _   
_ _ - _

_ “.. I don’t see any reason why we would be doing that.” _ _   
_ _ - _

_ “It’s going to be fun! Come on, please, Ushijima-senpai!” _ _   
_ _ - _

_ “What exactly is considered fun about sleeping next to each other?” _

  
  


Needless to say that Goshiki was both, surprised by the answer just as well as amused. Probably also a bit dumbfounded, unsure what to answer since he wasn’t so sure either. But he wanted to. He wanted to sleep in one bed with his boyfriend, finally, so he kept on asking. 

Also, maybe, just maybe, those kinds of straight forward and kind of innocent questions were probably also a reason why Goshiki found himself falling more and more for the Ace.

 

Now that they were there, actually laying next to each other, close to each other, in Ushijima’s bed, it was clear who had won the little discussion that they had. And Ushijima probably, definitely found himself enjoying the close company of Tsutomu in his arms. So featherly light and warm.

 

And just then, as Goshiki found himself drifting off into Morpheus’ arms, into a dream he probably wouldn’t remember the next day, feeling Wakatoshi’s chest heaving and sinking with each calm breath he took in his sleep, his boyfriend, suddenly, jerked heavily underneath him.

And Tsutomu was awake again. His heart racing in his chest as he opened his eyes and tried to blink through the darkness to make out the facial features of his boyfriend, whose breathing got heavier and faster by now.

He was definitely awake.

  
  


_ “You know… we’re in a relationship now.” _

_ - _

_ More a fact than anything, but Goshiki answered nontheless: _

_ “Yes, we are. So?” _

_ - _

_ “You don’t need to call me Ushijima-senpai all the time. I don’t think that’s right.” _

_ - _

_ Silence at first. _

_ “You… want me to call you by your first name?” _

_ A simple nod, nothing more. And a wide smile on Tsutomu’s lips. _

_ “Yes!! Okay! Ushi- … Wakatoshi. And… please call me Tsutomu!!” _

_ - _

_ Wakatoshi smiled. _

 

“Wakatoshi?... Is everything alright?”, Tsutomu’s voice was quiet and through the darkness he could see Wakatoshi raising his arm, covering his eyes for a second with his hand, wiping down his face. He was exhausted.

 

As far as Tsutomu could tell, Wakatoshi probably didn’t notice that he had been awake before he spoke, but now, the first-year could feel Wakatoshi shifting slightly, facing Tsutomu again. His facial features barely noticeable in the dark room. But still visible enough and close enough for Tsutomu to guess that his boyfriend was looking tense. More than usual.

 

“I-.. It’s fine. Nothing. Just a nightmare. Get back to sleep.”, his low voice wasn’t more than a hushed whisper, but Tsutomu could make out every word. Afterwards, he could feel himself getting pulled closer to Wakatoshi’s chest. Usually he wouldn’t have minded, but right now, it felt wrong for him to just get back to sleep while he could feel Wakatoshi’s heart clearly beating beneath his fingers. Fast, hard and seemingly without a chance of getting better.

 

“A nightmare?”, Tsutomu asked quietly, his head leaning against Wakatoshi’s shoulder.

 

A low grumble was the only answer he got, but it was enough for Tsutomu to ask further.

 

“You.. want to talk about it?” As he felt Ushijima shifting again, probably to look at him once again, Tsutomu continued. “If not, that’s fine but… uhm.. You know. Maybe it helps?” There was no answer, probably because his boyfriend needed to process or think about it, so once again, Tsutomu continued. “I.. can even start. I once had this crazy nightmare that I was sitting in class. And … for some reason, I wasn’t wearing a shirt and everyone else wasn’t wearing any pants and then the teacher entered, but instead of Mrs Tashida, it was a giant squirrel wearing a suit. I hate squirrels.”

For a moment Goshiki thought that Ushijima might have huffed at that, but he didn’t dwell on it, so he kept going. “So.. this squirrel just stood in the front, talking fluent german. Needless to say I didn’t know what it said, but everyone else seemed to understand it perfectly. And then there was me. Shirtless and suddenly getting yelled at in german by the squirrel and everyone turns to look at me and all of their faces were faces of pigeons! All making these weird noises while I didn’t know what they wanted from me. And suddenly the squirrel was right in my face and with a low… uhm… Seme-like voice it just said: Itadakimasu  _ Bruder _ . And then I woke up.”

 

There was an awkward moment of silence. Or so Goshiki thought, instead, he could clearly hear and feel Ushijima, ever so quietly, chuckling in amusement. And as Goshiki’s hand reached up to touch Wakatoshi’s cheek, he could feel the larger and warmer hand being placed above his own. “So… was your dream  _ that _ bad?”, Tsutomu asked, a light chuckle underlying his voice as he spoke and a wide smile on his lips. 

 

“Not… nearly as off putting. Or german.”, Wakatoshi simply answered, closing his eyes at the sensation of Goshiki’s hand on his cheek for a moment. He took a deep breath, and then another, before he opened his eyes again. His eyes by now used to the darkness, so he could see the features of his younger boyfriend clearly. Somewhat calming.

 

“Guess german just triggers something in me. I’m not sure what tho.”, Tsutomu shrugged and smiled further, which slowly vanished though as he, once again, carefully, asked: “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

There was shifting from Ushijima’s side and a low sigh following. But just as he wanted to say something, Tsutomu stopped him.

  
“Wait.”, it was a simple command but Wakatoshi did what he was told. He waited. He waited for Goshiki to sit up slightly, out of his arms, leaning back against the pillow. And he waited for Goshiki to pull Wakatoshi close to himself. Well. At least he tried. Goshiki’s bodily strenght was by far not that high yet, so instead, Wakatoshi helped through moving closer to him himself, putting his head on his younger boyfriend’s chest now instead. It was weird, it was new and it was calming. To feel and hear the steady and calm heartbeat of his boyfriend caused Wakatoshi to relax even more. His tensed shoulders relaxing and his arm wrapping around the tinier and thinner figure.

 

Goshiki’s arms wrapped around Ushijima gently and soon one of his hands was slowly running up and down Ushijima’s upper back, drawing little patterns with his fingers, just to overdraw them with new ones. Waiting for Wakatoshi to catch his breath, to sort his thoughts and to finally speak up in a low and quiet tone.

 

“I… was at home.”, he started and Goshiki listened. “Not my current home. The one we lived in as my father was still living with us. Before they divorced.”

 

Tsutomu’s hand kept drawing circles on Ushijima’s back while his other was placed on Ushijima’s arm, holding him close as he spoke further.

 

“It wasn’t dark or anything. Everything was… blurry in a way. No sound. But it was bright. And… everything was in the right place. Just as I remember. But there was no one there. So I walked through the corridors. I can’t even remember the way, but it felt like I was skipping some passages of the hallway. I was practically drawn to our living room. And the closer I got, I heard voices. Talking. But I couldn’t understand a thing they said.”

 

As his boyfriend talked on, Tsutomu was as quiet as possible, to catch every word Ushijima was saying. Picturing the dream in his mind, tho he didn’t know how his home back then looked like, he had an image in his head. And tho his mind wanted to know more details about the house, tho he wanted to keep pushing for Ushijima to talk faster, to tell him more, he kept his mouth shut and just listened.

 

“There… were words, pieces of the conversation hanging in the room. Written down but… as I tried to look at the words, they didn’t make any sense. I knew they had to mean something but as I looked at them, I couldn’t read what they said.”

 

Ushijima paused again for a second, which was probably a little too much time for Tsutomu to voice his thoughts. “That’s because dreaming and reading are each controlled by different half of the brain. It just doesn’t work together.” There was another pause and he could feel Wakatoshi staring up to him in confusion, at which his face heated up. 

  
“How do you know that?”

 

“Batman.” The pause that followed felt just as uncomfortable, but as he heard Wakatoshi huffing in amusement in his arms, Tsutomu relaxed again, smiling even as he pulled him closer again. “Go on. Please. Let’s not talk about this.”

 

Wakatoshi smiled a moment longer, actually snuggling closer before he continued to talk about his dream. “Anyway. I couldn’t read the words that hung in the room and as I got closer to the living room, which seemed far away at that point, the voices grew louder and louder. As if screaming to one another. But as I took a step into the living room… there was silence.” This was the point where Tsutomu could feel Ushijima tensing up again in his arms, so instead of drawing more patterns on his back, he wrapped both of his arms around his strong boyfriend and placed a kiss on top of his head. “I… walked further into the middle of the room. There were … I’m not so sure, but I think there were toys of mine laying on the ground. And I stopped. Staring down at them. As I looked up again, however, my father was standing in the other half of the room. His eyes were blurred out and instead of brightness, everything was black around. He was screaming into my direction but there was no sound. But he wasn’t screaming at me. And as I turned around, I saw my mother, standing close to me, her eyes also blurred out and she, also was saying something. But everything was still quiet.”

 

Tsutomu didn’t say anything more, far too gone in the story that Ushijima was telling, he could already feel goosebumps just from the mere image in his head forming on his arms. Squirrel teachers were nothing to compare all of that with after all.

 

“I tried to say something too. Even though it was quiet, it felt so loud around me. So I tried to talk. But I couldn’t. No matter how hard I tried. And then… I’m not sure how or why, but my parents both stopped talking. Just staring straight, not moving at all. And then I remember that the ground was suddenly moving. Suddenly there was a giant cliff between my mother, me and my father. And as I looked over to my father, he turned his back and walked away. My mother didn’t move. I mean… I guess she did not. I had the feeling-”

 

“You just knew that she wasn’t.”

 

“Right. And then I felt myself slipping and suddenly I was falling. Everything was black and through the crack above me I could see my mother staring down before she turned around and left as well. Then.. I just fell. I fell a long time and… I felt- no, I  _ knew _ I was dying as soon as I would hit the ground. And as that happened…. I woke up.”

 

There it was again. Silence. None of those two said another word for a short amount of time, just the clicking of Wakatoshi’s alarm clock was constantly breaking through the silence. Nothing more. Until…

  
“Wow..”, maybe it was not the most intelligent response to all of this, but this was all that Tsutomu could say at the moment. Wakatoshi on the other hand, was silent again. “I’m… I’m sorry… this… must be hard for you.”, he spoke further, pulling Ushijima closer, kind of awkwardly hugging him in the process.

 

“No. It’s fine. I’m good. It was just a nightmare after all.”, his voice was as calm as ever, far too calm for what he just told Goshiki. But still, Goshiki could feel that the other was still tense. Could feel the grip of Ushijima’s fingers in his shirt slightly trembling. He was far from fine. Far from good even. But Tsutomu wouldn’t pry further. 

 

“If you want to talk… please do... Come to me, I mean! I want to be there.”

 

Another moment of silence until Ushijima just made a little affirmative noise in his throat that ended the topic once and for all for this evening. Afterwards, Wakatoshi scooped just a little closer, kept his head on Tsutomu’s chest and closed his eyes while Tsutomu’s hand slightly ran through his short hair. Massaging his scalp in the process. 

 

“Thank you. For listening.”, just as Goshiki closed his eyes to regain some sleep again, Wakatoshi raised his voice once more. A soft smile playing on Tsutomu’s lips as he leaned forward as far as possible to kiss Ushijima on the lips, who - thankfully - leaned a little back so that it could actually work.

  
“Sleep tight, Wakatoshi.” And with a genuine smile, a smile that not only meant that he was glad for Wakatoshi to feel better, but that Wakatoshi was so much more human than anyone would expect, Goshiki closed his eyes.

 

And with that, both of them slowly drifted off into dreamless sleeps to be well rested the following day. No nightmares of any kind followed that night. 

 

What Tsutomu didn’t know, wouldn’t know any time soon, was that the dream Wakatoshi had that night wasn’t new to him. In fact, the same dream in different variations kept him awake many nights already. And would continue to do so.

 

Seemingly never to stop.

**Author's Note:**

> Dream Interpretion:
> 
> > Not being able to speak  
> \- The dreamer wants/needs to say something but being unable to  
> \- Desperation  
> \- The dreamer needs to realize what it is that he wants to say for it to work
> 
> > Blurry faces  
> \- Who is this person really?  
> \- A distant person  
> \- Your subconcious telling you not to trust them
> 
> > Falling  
> \- Warning Signal  
> \- No way out from a situation  
> \- Again, Desperation  
> \- Dreams of Death through falling: A situation that weighs so heavy that it, metaphorically, breaks the dreamers neck  
> \- Losing what's important
> 
> > Being left alone  
> \- Feeling abandoned / The fear of being abandoned
> 
> \---------
> 
> Alright! I hope you guys enjoyed all of this so far! To be honest, in the beginning I wasn't so sure where to go with all of this but I'm really proud how all of this turned out!
> 
> If you liked it, why don't you let me know in the comments? That would be amazing!
> 
> Have an amazing day ♥


End file.
